Those little voices in my head....

Did you ever have that time when you just want to scream at your brain to stop thinking, I swear sometimes i want to have an on and off switch for my brain to stop running a million miles per hour :D There is so much to do and so little time maybe because it is just 16 days before Christmas and I'm not finish with my knitting presents, I need to do some finishing touches on some and additional accessories, i guess others will have store bought  presents or a Christmas card (that's it). I have to buy the Christmas tree so we can start decorating for Christmas, my son put up Christmas lights and decorations outside yesterday and I did some garage cleaning, the girls dump all their new guitar boxes ( they had an early Christmas present from their dad) need more work but its less clutter. We also have some home improvement going on,replace the sink, needs new carpet, paint the girls room, fixed backyard, we're also turning a loft into a bedroom for my son, he use to have his own room and the girls shares a room but when he went to college the youngest one took over his room and when he came back she would not give it up, both girls want to have their own room. It would be less of an issue if we do not have to submit a permit but of course we have to follow the rules and go thru proper procedure, we decided to build it ourselves (which means hubby and son) since it is cost effective but this person at the city building department is giving us a hard time when we try to submit the plan requirements, she knows we are not engineers/architects and kept on asking for stuff we do not understand instead of explaining it layman's term. She scribbled some notes on the papers and basically shun us out and told us they will be closing soon and she has other people waiting. We'll try again Monday and hopefully get a more helpful person. And also I need a job, left my job 3 months ago reason would be another story. I'm trying to write all this out so my brain will stop thinking. Of course I still worry about my children constantly and my mother who is in the Philippines, it's her birthday on Christmas day I wish I could be with her , have not seen her for more than 3 years. Oh and I was also able to finish the baby blanket, hat, booties and mitts that I was knitting in time but my nephew has to delay his flight to Australia, he was in a car accident, he is alright but needed some medical attention. That would give me more time to make another set of baby stuff . I'm currently working on a Totoro hat for my daughter, still have my lace shawl on hold :( wont be able to work on that until next year. My other daughter and my son is also requesting for beanie hats. I better stop this and start knitting. Enjoy your day!
Here are some pictures of the baby stuff I made :)

 

On being a Mom....

So its now December and I am trying to finish this baby blanket  that i want to give to my niece Carol , she is in Australia , her husband who is currently here in California will be leaving on December 7, halfway there and I also should be able to make hats and gloves. I should stay away from my laptop to concentrate on this. Knitting this baby blanket reminded me when my kids where babies. I use to tell my husband when they were little that I wish they would grow up fast so I can stop worrying, he will tell me that I should not wish for that since that would mean we are also older. Now that they are 21, 18 and 15 yrs old, I still worry and a million times more than when they were younger, now I wish that they are  still babies. It just comes to say that parents would really not stop worrying about their kids. I remember when they were younger , i worry about what kind of food to feed them,what clothes to wear, if they have enough sleep or if they are watching too much TV, when they are in school , are they having fun, do they eat their lunch, little things.When they  get hurt, most of the time band-aid, hugs and kisses are the cure.I miss the time when they come to my room at night and sleep with us. We are their best friend and best buddies. Now I still worry about pretty much the same things plus drugs,alcohol,sex, driving, if they are choosing the right friends to be with, if they are using good judgement, if they are telling the truth where they are going, if they are safe. I worry that I have not given them enough advised or if I was too loose or to strict on them. It pains me to think that my children will get hurt or will lie to me about things, I have always been open to them and assured them that they can always come to me no matter what. I'm not a very religious person, I do come to church and believe in God and I always pray to keep my children safe.I guess I worry too much but what can I do, I can only hope that they have listen to me and their dad about making good choices, my youngest one calls them lectures, every time we give them the parent talks.Now more than ever I understand why my mother was too strict with me when I was growing up, I miss her.