On being a Mom....

So its now December and I am trying to finish this baby blanket  that i want to give to my niece Carol , she is in Australia , her husband who is currently here in California will be leaving on December 7, halfway there and I also should be able to make hats and gloves. I should stay away from my laptop to concentrate on this. Knitting this baby blanket reminded me when my kids where babies. I use to tell my husband when they were little that I wish they would grow up fast so I can stop worrying, he will tell me that I should not wish for that since that would mean we are also older. Now that they are 21, 18 and 15 yrs old, I still worry and a million times more than when they were younger, now I wish that they are  still babies. It just comes to say that parents would really not stop worrying about their kids. I remember when they were younger , i worry about what kind of food to feed them,what clothes to wear, if they have enough sleep or if they are watching too much TV, when they are in school , are they having fun, do they eat their lunch, little things.When they  get hurt, most of the time band-aid, hugs and kisses are the cure.I miss the time when they come to my room at night and sleep with us. We are their best friend and best buddies. Now I still worry about pretty much the same things plus drugs,alcohol,sex, driving, if they are choosing the right friends to be with, if they are using good judgement, if they are telling the truth where they are going, if they are safe. I worry that I have not given them enough advised or if I was too loose or to strict on them. It pains me to think that my children will get hurt or will lie to me about things, I have always been open to them and assured them that they can always come to me no matter what. I'm not a very religious person, I do come to church and believe in God and I always pray to keep my children safe.I guess I worry too much but what can I do, I can only hope that they have listen to me and their dad about making good choices, my youngest one calls them lectures, every time we give them the parent talks.Now more than ever I understand why my mother was too strict with me when I was growing up, I miss her.